Truly Abundantly Wealthy

Wealth is the second word in the title of my blog, and the meaning of the word has continued to evolve for me during the last few years. When I first started thinking about the blog and the word wealth, I wanted to share the methods we have used to manage our real food budget and our discretionary spending. Overall we have made some very positive changes, which I will share more in depth later, but during the last week I have realized how truly abundantly wealthy we are.



Sometimes our life focus gets so distorted that we put an emphasis on material goods, or being better than our peers (or as parents wanting our children to be better than their peers), and we end up working ourselves to death in order to ensure we accumulate the material goods and social status we are told by society are important. In the end wealth is about so much more than that, and the love and support Anthony and I have received before and during his transplant, and during the death of Anthony's father, is evidence of that.

Anthony's father, Jim, passed away suddenly in December of 2011 from a seizure. At the time I was on maternity leave after having our youngest daughter Maddie, and I was dreading my return to work because the environment was toxic and I was working long hours. While standing in line for Jim's showing I was struck by the number of people who came from all over the country and state to pay their respects to him. Person after person shared similar stories about Jim. He gave them a chance when no one else would, or he helped them with their horses, farms, houses, events, and more. There wasn't a single person who said they admired Jim's possessions, the long hours he worked, or his social status. Each person described how thankful he or she was for his service, genuine compassion, and for believing in him or her despite the cost or time for Jim. He shared his wealth unconditionally with them in whatever way he could.

Jim taught me a lot about what it means to be truly wealthy, which is a life surrounded by people who love, support and share their time and talents with you, and in return doing the same for them. Working long hours in a toxic environment so that my family could have more stuff and so I could increase my social status was not worth it anymore, and Jim's death taught me that.

Anthony and I both decided to reduce our professional responsibilities a year after that for a decrease in pay, but for an increase in our sanity and time together before the transplant. The results were also an increase in our real wealth. When Anthony entered the hospital for the first time a few weeks ago we started to receive an outpouring of love and support, and received acts of kindness from numerous people. Throughout the experience I have been strong, but happy tears have slipped out a few times due to the overwhelming gestures of kindness by our family, friends, and even strangers. We are truly abundantly wealthy.

The donor willing to allow someone else to live on, my dad sitting with me for hours before, during, and after the transplant, my mom and sister making sure Maddie had a great 3rd birthday and helping the girls feel comfortable and loved while we were gone, my brother texting Anthony Cardinals game updates and keeping us laughing with funny stories, Anthony's family holding prayer vigils from Missouri to New York, aunts, uncles, and cousins sending their love and prayers, a friend of Anthony's stopping to bring us a care package and to pray with me, a teaching friend holding a prayer circle for us, Anthony's school coordinating gift cards for meals when we leave the hospital, multiple friends of Anthony's and mine from high school, college, work, and across the world sending us messages and offering their time and resources, neighbors sneaking down to mow our yard, visiting me at the hospital, and leaving gift bags for the girls, a nurse hugging me after the transplant saying she texted another nurse during her day off to see if he received the transplant, and numerous other gestures of kindness.

Thank you to each and every person who has supported us and loved us during this experience and during our lives. We are truly abundantly wealthy, and I hope that we can use our wealth to help others feel value and worth in their lives. Imagine what our world and communities would be like if we stopped working ourselves to death, focused more on helping each other than outspending each other, more on building each other up rather than breaking each other down, and sharing our time and talents instead of our just our money. If everyone could feel the way I feel today, then we would be the wealthiest people on earth. Evaluate how you are spending your time and money, reach out to someone you know is lacking real wealth in their lives, and do something for them. Let's help each other on the road to Real Health, Wealth, and Happiness. Please keep the thoughts and prayers coming, our road is going to be long!

Can't Nobody Love You (Like I Do)

Thirteen years ago Can't Nobody Love You (Like I Do) was the first song my husband and I danced to at our wedding. The song title has evolved to mean more than just the first song played at our wedding, it has developed into the theme of our life. The road to Real Health, Wealth, and Happiness is personal for us, but the road has been and continues to be bumpy, as I am sure it is for many of you.

One day about six years ago, Anthony, my husband, showed my a vein protruding out of his abdomen. We thought he probably had a hernia, and he went to an internal specialist to have it examined. After some blood work, they found some abnormalities with his liver enzymes, and they sent him to a liver specialist. The liver specialist was concerned by the level of his liver enzymes and scheduled a biopsy of his liver. The liver biopsy showed that Anthony had cirrhosis of the liver.

The diagnosis shocked us because Anthony has never been a drinker or a smoker, his blood work ruled out hepatitis and hemochromatosis, and he had never had medical problems before we noticed the protruding vein. The doctor said he wasn't sure what caused the cirrhosis, but he would continue to monitor it, and mentioned that down the road Anthony might have to have a liver transplant.

Overall Anthony continued to feel well, there were times when he felt tired, but we continued to live our lives normally. One day during the fall of 2010 I received a call from an administrator at the school where Anthony taught and they said that he had vomited blood and his blood pressure was very low. By the time I arrived he had thrown up twice and his blood pressure was not able to be stabilized. They rushed him to the hospital and the next few hours are a little bit of a blur in my memory.

I do remember sitting next to my father crying as I waited outside of the room where they were performing emergency surgery to band the arteries that had burst inside Anthony's esophagus. The doctor said Anthony had lost a lot of blood and they were going to have to give him a blood transfusion, and they were going to try their best to stop the bleeding, but there were no guarantees.

Fortunately the procedure that night, and a second procedure two months later where they inserted a stint into his abnormally small portal vein, helped alleviate the inflammation of his arteries. The doctor thought that with the stint Anthony would be able to live 15-20 years before he needed a liver transplant.

After our second daughter, Madison, was born we noticed that even when Anthony was carrying her up the stairs he was short of breath. After coaching a basketball game he was completely exhausted and while he was sleeping he sounded like he had sleep apnea. The liver doctor sent him to a lung specialist and they found small stints in his lungs, which were causing him to have reduced lung capacity.

Anthony's liver doctor decided to send him to IU Health to start the process to be placed on the liver transplant list because of the deterioration of his lungs. After a year of blood work, every type of test you could possibly imagine, meetings with social workers and medical educators, Anthony was placed on the liver transplant list. We are now waiting for the actual transplant.

When I took my vows I sincerely meant in good times and bad, for better or worse, and that is what we have experienced. Part of the reason I decided to start taking the road to Real Health, Wealth, and Happiness was to help Anthony before and after the liver transplant. His doctors are very happy that he has lost the extra twenty pounds he was carrying and has adopted better eating habits.

If Anthony and I had been practicing the steps from my last post Check or Wreck Yourself, he may not have developed liver disease. Nonalcoholic fatty liver disease is increasing at an alarming rate for adults and children. There are estimates that by 2020 it will be the leading reason for liver transplants. Some research is suggesting the high level of toxins and chemicals in processed foods and drinks that the liver has to remove is contributing to the increase of fatty liver disease.  Can't Nobody Love You and your body like you can, so treat your body like a temple and fill it with nourishing and healthy foods and beverages so that you will not have to experience what we have been faced with.

Happy 13th Anniversary Anthony! Please continue to join us on our road to Real Health, Wealth, and Happiness. We'd love to hear your story as we share ours with you.

Check or Wreck Yourself!

Once I committed to dumping Diet Coke, I started to check other foods I was eating, and quickly learned that I was in jeopardy of wrecking myself for life! Hence the title. I consider myself an educated person, but I was earning an F in food knowledge. My goal is to share the most crucial steps I took on the road to Real Health, Wealth, and Happiness, and pass them along to you so you can join me!

1. Fat Free-The first thing that blew my mind was how bad packaged fat free foods are. I bought many fat free foods thinking I was decreasing my calorie intake, but found myself reaching for an extra handful on several occasions to help me feel full. The reason? They took out the fat when heart disease was on the rise and replaced it with addictive processed sugars. Plus fat free foods are often loaded with artificial flavors, extra preservatives, and other toxic chemicals. Luckily many are on the way off the shelf.

2. High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS)-The number of children with Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes is rising at an alarming rate in the United States. The amount of sugar people consume in the U.S. has increased from 20 teaspoons per person per year to 150 pounds per person per year. The problem is HFCS is everywhere in foods like barbecue sauce, ketchup, jelly, snacks, drinks and more. A few weeks ago my husband and I went on a date night and ate at a very well known barbecue restaurant in Cincinnati. I decided to splurge and get some ribs. The sauce was so good, and I just couldn't stop eating. At the end of the meal we were walking out and they had bottles of sauce for sale. I thought it must be made of high quality ingredients. #1 HFCS! Wreck myself! Capri Sun is another one I see children drinking all of the time. The packaging boasts 25% less sugar, #2 ingredient HFCS, and still has 16 grams of sugar.

3. Antibiotics in meat and dairy products-Some meat and dairy products are chocked full of antibiotics to help animals grow bigger more quickly. Antibiotics are also used to treat animals that live in cramped quarters and easily contract infections. Some research suggests that people can become over exposed to antibiotics, which causes antibiotics to be less effective when they are given to people. Plus I decided I didn't want my family to eat meat from sick animals.

4. Artificial Sweeteners- I mentioned reasons artificial sweeteners can be harmful in my post about Diet Coke. The problem is they are in thousands of foods and drinks, so you really have to start examining your food labels. Some studies link artificial sweeteners to cancer, but the most alarming problem is how addictive they are, which is why is makes it so hard for people to stop drinking or eating things with these sweeteners in them.

5. Sodium-When we got back from our date night I was a couple of pounds heavier, which was no coincidence. The amount of sodium that is in some processed foods, fast foods, and even restaurant foods is astronomical, and causes you to retain water. I gained fifty pounds when I got pregnant with my second daughter and was retaining tons of water. The culprit? Frozen meals, fast food, and processed foods.

Your goal sometime during the next two weeks is to look in your pantry and refrigerator and check the labels to see if any of the foods you have contain excessive amounts of these 5. Then start to turn over items you are thinking about buying at the grocery store and check those labels. Begin with reducing the use of 1 of them, and then continue to reduce the use of all of them. There are still times when we slip up (like date night), or make an impulse buy without researching it properly. My husband hasn't fully committed to all of the steps, but he is starting to buy in after continuing to lose weight and to feel better when we check ourselves. Take the next step on the road to Real Health, Wealth, and Happiness, and you won't wreck yourself. We are here to cheer you on, so let us know how you are doing and leave a comment!

My BFF

Several of you warned me, many of you silently watched me afraid to say anything, and some of you joined me. When I finally decided to break it off, they tried to win me back through fancy marketing (the BFF can was created with me in mind), but I resisted, and I hope that those of you I corrupted will break it off soon too. For those of you who don’t know me, I am talking about my addiction to Diet Coke.

As long as I can remember my family has been consuming Coca-Cola products. As a child we drank “the real thing”, or Coca-Cola, but sometime during high school we switched to Diet Coke. Some of my fondest memories include a Diet Coke, or maybe a few. I drank Diet Coke during college all nighters, and when I returned from studying abroad in Europe it was the first thing I wanted (with extra ice of course). When I was traveling between St. Louis and New York as a retail buyer I drank them, and when I was studying at night while completing my Master’s Degree I consumed them. During the last nine years my students brought me Diet Cokes for Christmas, my husband brought me numerous ones on his way back from basketball practice, friends brought me 32 ounces with extra ice when I needed a pick me up, and Black Friday with my sister just wasn’t the same without a Diet Coke from McDonald’s.

In January when I decided to start the journey to Real Health, Wealth, and Happiness, I knew I had to give up my beloved Diet Coke. As I started to do research about real eating, articles and reports pointed to how toxic Diet Coke is to us, and I just couldn’t justify my addiction any longer. I watched the The American Parasite (check it out on YouTube) and it made sense to me. Just recently an article about the declining sales of diet soda and the link between aspartame and health problems reinforced my decision, and my desire to encourage you to make the same decision. (http://eatlocalgrown.com/article/12974-is-this-the-end-of-diet-soda.html?c=jer)

I am not going to lie to you, the first few weeks after giving it up were a little rough, and there were more than a couple of times I drove into McDonald’s and then found my will power before I placed my order. Proudly seven months later I am Diet Coke free! I feel better, my teeth and nails are healthier, my wallet is a little fatter, and I no longer crave it. Whatever your addiction is, make a decision to stop for your health and wealth, and then find a support system to encourage you. The community we are creating at Real Health, Wealth, and Happiness is here to cheer you on! I'd love to hear your comments about what food or drink additions you have that you want to break. Please encourage others to join us on Facebook and soon on Twitter. Next topic what the heck can I eat?

Welcome to Real Health, Wealth, & Happiness! About seven months ago during the holidays I had a reflective moment when I realized that my family was consuming TOO much of everything, and having MORE wasn't making me feel any better, in fact it was making me feel much worse. My daughters got more presents for Christmas than their rooms could hold, and we ate more food than our stomachs could handle. When the holidays were over I was still twenty pounds overweight (after already losing forty pounds after the birth of my second daughter), and my husband was holding on to the same twenty "sympathy" pounds. I made a decision to get REAL: real healthy, real wealthy, and real happy.

In January 2014 I had lunch with two of my good friends, and when I told them how I was feeling, they both had similar feelings. After that lunch I went home and explained to my husband that I wanted to make some major changes, and we slowly started to transform our eating habits and spending habits (we are still working on both). After six months we have both lost the twenty pounds we were holding on to, and feel so much better. My oldest daughter is making better food choices and can taste the difference between REAL and processed food. Overall this has made our family healthier and happier.

The issues that I will address in Real Health, Wealth, & Happiness impact me as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, and former business professional. This summer my family and I have enjoyed our time off and as a result I have been able to visit several places, catch up with good friends, and observe people struggling with obesity, health problems, and financial challenges. When I start to share my story with people about getting real, they want to know more, so I decided to share my struggles and accomplishments with you. Together we can find REAL health, wealth, and happiness!